Utopia

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Google today unveiled more details of Chrome OS, a lightweight, browser-based operating system for netbooks.

With a strong focus on speed, the Chrome OS promises nearly instant boot times of about 7 seconds for users to login to their computers.

"We want Google Chrome OS to be blazingly fast ... to boot up like a TV," said Sundar Pichai, vice president of product management for Google.

The first Chrome OS netbooks will be available in late 2010, Pichai said. It will not be available as a download to run and install. Instead, Chrome OS is only shipping on specific hardware from manufacturers Google has partnered with. That means if you want Chrome OS, you'll have to purchase a Chrome OS device.

Google is currently working with unnamed computer manufacturers to define specifications for these computers, which Pichai said will include larger netbook-style computers with full-size keyboards, large trackpads and large displays.

Chrome OS netbooks will not have traditional hard disk drives -- they will rely on non-volatile flash memory and Internet-based storage for saving all of your data.

All the applications will be web-based, meaning users won't have to install apps, manage updates or even backup their data. All data will be stored in the cloud, and users won't even have to bother with anti-virus software: Google claims it will monitor code to prevent malicious activity in Chrome OS web apps.

"Chrome OS is a totally rethought computer that will let you focus on the Internet, so you can stop worrying about your computer," according to a Google promotional video shown at the event, held at the Google campus in Mountain View, California.

As part of its announcement today, Pichai said that Google would be releasing all of the operating system's code and design documents to the public.

Introduced in July, Chrome OS is a Linux-based, open-source operating system centered on Google's Chrome browser. Applications will run exclusively inside the browser, Google said Thursday.

"As of today, the code will be fully open, which means Google developers will be working on the same tree as open developers," said Pichai.

The OS's focus on design is consistent with the company's stance that the future is in the web. In July, Vic Gundotra, Google's engineering vice president and developer evangelist, spoke on a panel about app stores, in which he said native apps (such as those available for the iPhone) would be obsolete in the future, and that the Web will "become the platform that matters."

"Every capability you want today, in the future it will be written as a web application," Pichai said Thursday.

Netbooks -- lightweight, low-powered sub-notebooks -- were the surprise hit of 2008 and 2009. However, with the growth of netbooks sales slowing -- and the prices of some full-powered notebooks dropping below $400 -- the continued viability of the netbook sector is an open question.

Though netbook shipments are falling below manufacturers' expectations, the inexpensive, low-powered devices appear to still be selling well. Pichai cited research figures from ABI research indicating that 35 million netbooks shipped in 2009, more than twice the number sold in 2008.

Manufacturers have yet to announce pricing on netbooks shipping with Chrome OS, but Google expects the cost to be about the same as current netbooks. On average, netbooks cost between $300 and $500.

Videos demonstrating Chrome OS's user interface, security, fast boot and other features are below the jump.

source: http://edition.cnn.com/2009/TECH/11/20/google.os/index.html

hmm, this does sounds familiar..

yes, this is the beginning of a future physical computer just like what I saw in my dreams and I predicted in my writings previously!

Google Chrome OS does removes harddisk from the computers, and relies on web servers as data storage, this is a beginning of revolution in a computer world!

future computers, of which what I saw in my dream, where personal computers in the future would relies entirely on server computers, not only for data storage, but also all the data processing, graphics, drivers, etc. would be done on the servers, and what's in our hands is simply the transmitter and receiver with input and output units that is more sci-fi, either it has the capability to compacting the carbons in the atmosphere as screen or keyboard interface, or maybe it's more to a fluid interface systems, or maybe using sensors.

(read my original post here)

well, maybe now it's all just a dream, but do remember..

just like what Victor Hugo wrote in Les Misérables, "utopia today, flesh and blood tomorrow". don't lose the dream! the fact that we enjoy all of this sophisticated technology is because of dreams of those people who had the dream and will to change the world.

in fact, Google had done it well, this is just the beginning, and I believe, not in a distant future, we will experience these things I saw in my dreams, and I had predicted..

but, too bad.. today I am still nobody and no one would listen to me, and I am jealous of Steve Jobs of Apple computers about his statement, how he predict back in 1980s that " all computers in the future would all be like this" (computers with GUI, just like what he saw in Xerox's Palo Alto Research Centre).. and yes, he is right, he had done it with Macintosh, and look how proud he was back then..

Majulah (ke) Singapura

Friday, August 21, 2009

Ah it's quite a busy day while I'm working on project proposals for my design studio, and well.. I just returned from some fun trip to Singapore.
This trip is particularly special because I adopt the philosophy "go first, think later"..
My friends and I went without enough plans of where to go, where and how are we going to sleep, eat, etc.
But cool, it's more like an adventure..

We prefer walking around the town with a map, rather than taking trains to circle around.
Some places that took my attention is the Jew's praying place, Synagouge. It is quite a surprise to found one around. Since around South-East Asia, there are almost no sign of Jews community.
And of course, me, I am a person who doesn't have any prejudices towards any religion, I personally interested to the Synagogue. The building's form, characteristic, importance, and the community as well. But unfortunately, it seems that we couldn't enter the Synagogue.
I first notice the Synagogue on the map after a david star sign when I am scanning around the area map of Fort Canning Park, and then I deliberately wanted to see it.
But we stalled around Fort Canning Park and waste some time seeing old cemetery, a colonial building with a classic music playing inside, an archeological site, and 'Battle Box' an interactive museum of the fort itself which tells the story about how Singapore (which that time belongs to the Biritsh) fell to the hands of the Japanese in February 1942, World War II.
And of course, it stole my attention.. haha..

Another funny story is that we watch the movie 'UP', shortly after we reached there and well, that's quite an inspiring movie about adventure.. what a coincidence!
I am inspired about Carl's enthusiasm in adventure and his admiration toward the adventurer Charles Muntz when he was a little boy..
I like a story about admiration, inspiration, a deep passion on something adventurous and challenging.
I like people who had that spirit as well, in fact, human races advances under the lead or charisma and encouragement by people with the passion of challenging and changing the world.

I am into adventure, I am into interesting stories of the ancients, the legends and myths, the marvel of many people who resist against the time.
I want to learn of how can I be one of them, who lives eternally in the hearts of people, whether they are only a fictional character or real figures of the past.
George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, was once trying to figure this issue, and he did it. He admits that he is totally inspired by myth and legends, of how they are told so many times since long time ago, but people still react the same way towards the story.
There must be a psychological explanation of why they resist the harshness of time.
Me, myself, like I've told everybody so many time, I want to live forever, I want to retain my identity as a person who ever lived in the planet earth. I don't want to disappeared just yet, after one or two generation, I want to last forever, I'll always shout this statement everyday if I have to!

In particular, I am more into ancient places than modern places..
To tell the truth, I sometimes imagine in an extensive imagination of activities held at certain places in the past when I visit them. I stand still, inhale some deep breath and recreate imaginary visual and verbal experience that might had happened long ago on particular place I visited.Even if my imagination is not enough to recreate that sensation fully, it is actually quite fun doing it everytime I visit some places.

But it doesn't mean that I didn't like the modern places, I am into it as well..
Even if I am dissatisfied with trends, I agree with the idea of being advanced.
Because what those people in the past had done, is that they did something significant, a totally advanced act of their age.
Thus, to be one of them, I need to made my way, even if it means to destroy themselves..
Oh yes, people are so selfish, I am particularly a very selfish one in this case.
I totally understand the fact if I destroy their history, then there will be another person who'll destroy my history in the future.
But life is a game.. Let's have a competition with those people who endured the test of time..If they can stand for thousand of years, then I'll try to stand for million of years!

Boredom Buster

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Ah, it's quite a long time since I did the last post..

Well, I think I'll just write some simple stuffs for this particular post, actually there are many things to write, but I'm just both too busy and lazy, especially to write some serious writings.

I'm currently having an industrial training in Jakarta, it's tiresome and damn boring!

Damn it! does the adult live like this!? those monotonous office activities.. It beats my mental health, and then I'd ended up getting too sleepy and fell asleep in the office.. Ahh, this is not good..

To overcome the boredom (and to avoid falling asleep at the office), I did some stuffs including, reading some architectural books (haha, I'm an architecture students after all), or maybe some novels I saved from the internet, playing phone games, and the most effective one (I think) is my high school habit, doodling and scribing..

It works, and what's better is that I got some personal improvement by doodling.. It's a nonsense isn't it? But yes, my handwriting has improved! I'm quite famous for ugly handwriting, even me, myself couldn't read my handwritings sometimes.

Now I have better handwriting, and I also somewhat mastered architectural fonts, which I couldn't do until now.

Another thing I got from doodling at works is some piece of art I did using markers..

I was doing some CAD works, and then I got bored. I keep on zooming in and zooming out my works at the computer screen and then I got inspired by the lines and colors at the drawings I've made on the AutoCAD.

inspiring CAD image

I remembered this pattern at some pictures I saw in the internet, it was a dress motifs, and I draw these pattern on my skecthbook.

pattern I drew

It's something like that, I'm sorry the image is not sharp enough..

Since I drew it too small, I am dissatisfied and I started to draw a bigger one.

And well, size does matter! I did some changes while working on the bigger one, and the final product... is the picture you see at the top of this post..

It doesn't look related at all!? maybe.. haha..

Past/Present/Future

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Here's some drafts I found just now, and I decided to post it here..

It's about things that I have posted here, including the post about a dream I had (about future computers), my Tea House presentation project, and of course Leonardo Da Vinci..

Well, I remember when I was having a presentation for the Tea Walk project last semester. One of the panelist for my presentation, told me about my plan geometry, that I can only made plan that’s exactly like the star of betlehem.

(since my plan is based on the star of betlehem , but I used rectangles rather than square and I move it so it doesn’t looks symmetrical from the plan).

I asked why can’t I?

She said, it’s because there are some orders that I couldn’t change.

(but this is plan, ma’am, and I didn’t think that my planning doesn’t have anything to do with the ‘orders’ she mentioned)

and she continues, she mentioned Leonardo Da Vinci, maybe because I put the inverted writing (that’s made famous by Da Vinci), which I put intentionally, not because I wanted to imitate Da Vinci.

She said that, “you are not Da Vinci. God has given Da Vinci such gift that his brain is so brilliant that he could create his own or new orders.”

This is actually a public statement and it’s not offensive at all..

But I'm unpleased by hearing her statement.

Which means, I cannot surpass Da Vinci? I cannot create new orders just because I’m not Da Vinci?

I don’t believe in such thing, I do believe that everyone could do anything. Everyone get the same chance!

If it’s about gift-from-God-thing, (I’m sorry if I think too highly of myself) I believed that I’ve got the gift from God as well, I’ve got the potential..! I wouldn’t afford losing just because of that potential thing..

If it’s about hardwork, or maybe environments, etc. that boost his capabilities and made him succeed with all those achievements.. I could accept that..

And after having this dream, about this technology..

Something bothered me, we all know that’s Da Vinci products aren’t only arts.

He’s also a genius philosopher and scientist.

He had this vision of flying machine just like the modern helicopters. But the technology in his era wouldn’t allow him to create such flying machine..

Now I’m asking, isn’t it possible that he had the same vision just like me?

The idea’s just drilled to his brain (of course also after he put some thought on it)..

And he tried to sketch it, to realize it, but unfortunately.. The technology wouldn’t allow me to.. Just like this ring-sized computer I just dreamt of..

Or maybe famous writers of sci-fi books and films like James Bond, with this vision of modern gadgets. And George Lucas, with his vision of a laser blade called lightsaber, weapon of the Jedi.

He imagined that the source of the laser would be a crystal powered by self-charging power cell which is strong enough and small enough to be placed inside the hilt.

But our technology isn’t that advanced yet, and I don’t think that we can limit a light movement (where the lightsaber blade would span up to about 1.2m).

Actually I’ve had my own theory of possible lightsaber construction. It would not light or laser based blade, but rather heat based blade.

The ultilization of the heat isn't like vibroblade, where the blade is heated up with a very high frequency generator (that's why it's called vibroblade), but rather a fireblade.

Because I remember that fire were made of three aspects, oxygen, fuel, and heat (or the fire itself).

Oxygen exist everywhere, all we need is this ‘fuel’ that could easily distributed to 1.2m span requirements that’s fit into the hilt for a very long period of time (and if possible, self-charging like the lightsaber power cell). And all we need is just an ignition button to fire up..!

Well, just to track back to possibilities of a more advanced ancient technology, George Lucas put this line in every Star Wars opening “a long time ago, in the galaxy far far away”.

See the line? ‘a long time ago’.. Maybe he also realized that there are possibilities that super advanced technology does exist in the past..!

Then, what's so special about Da Vinci? He's just an ordinary human, and a dreamer like us..

Soon we'll be living in the future..

Do you believe that some things in life exist because they were meant to exist?

Or maybe, it’s there because it’s meant to be there?

I’ve been taught recently about things called Genius Loci, or ‘spirit of the place’ that somewhat drove people to made a certain space so special in a macrospace.

In other word, the spirit somewhat affecting things and create only an exact condition (of what it meant to be) or something that’s meant to be there or that way.

They’re special because they really are special..

I also understand that sometimes, things become special because of some great achievements, or maybe a breakthrough or something new that’s unconsciously made people to start labeling things to these achievements, breakthroughs or anything else that’s worth, and put them in place in their hearts.

Just like iPod and Walkman, just name about other portable music player that’s sounds so perfect.. Honestly, I can’t think about anything good except these two.

And this is what labels are..

Okay, do you remember the song Yesterday from The Beatles?

Paul McCartney first got the tunes from his dream, and when he woke up, he jumps to his piano and trying to play the tunes he heard in his dream so it won’t just lost away.

Recently, I’ve been having weird dreams for the last few days. And just now, I’ve had a very interesting dream.

A similar dream to McCartney’s.. Well, it’s not about music, but a vision of a future technology.

I dreamt about a future computer, how it looks like, how it works, and the logic behind these.

Here’s what I’ve been dreaming about..

First, I dreamt about watching an ad video of latest Apple Computer product (which only exist in my dream).

Their latest product, if I still remember, it's another MacBook series. Similar to MacBook Air, not in the context of its shape or specs, but rather in the context of it’s portability.

This new product integrates the iDisk system to it's own computing system..

I mean, this latest MacBook doesn’t have any physical harddisk. All the access to the data storage is done wirelessly. Which also means the internet connections are supposed to be incredibly fast.

(And this is in my dream, okay? So just, consider that it is already fast enough, as fast as the internet connections in the future maybe?)

This is just like what Steve Jobs intention by releasing MacBook Air!

A wireless future..

Still in my dream, then suddenly, all the videos I’ve been watching on YouTube are about Apple Computer and wireless technology.

Greater potentials of wireless technology for future computers.

Let’s say, each parts of hardware that runs the computer are connected wirelessly.

Each hardware has it’s own wireless transmitters.

Then, future computer should have been incredibly small, light and ultra portable..

And now, this is my own McCartney’s Yesterday part..

Something suddenly popped out in my head. I talked to myself (in my dream of course), “Ah, I know how the future computers will looks like, it will be as big as a ring in our finger”.

Then suddenly, all the details about this ring computer just came up.

Like it was already there before..

I know all about it, how it’s work, and the mechanism, theoretically..

This ring-sized computer would have a control stick as big as main control stick in Sony Ericssons phones. This control stick can move to all directions (not 4 directions like phones).

This control stick is used to navigate the pointer in the computer screen.

To click, simply click the control stick, just like phones..

Now where’s the screen and the keyboards? The ring is actually projected the screen to the air from nothing. Remember watching sci-fi films and games where computers don’t have any physical screens and keyboards? They are actually projected in the air, but it’s touchable (after projected).

The interface would be like iPod touch or iPhone, where there is only one button. Just push the main button (in this case, the control stick), the computer will be activated and the screen will be projected. To turn of, just navigate through the screen and choose the turn off or shut down option. Or maybe, by pressing the main button long enough to shut the computer down. Simple..!

The ring-sized computer would comprise of ultra fast and ultra small nano-processor, ultra small lens that could manipulate carbon particles in the air to project (or maybe create) the screen and keyboard, and ultra small and strong battery.

Of course they’re all works wirelessly with connection to a server that holds and handle all the tasks and any data processes. The server will handle everything, and we only need to carry this ring-sized computer to do any computing tasks..

And just like McCartney, after I woke up, I went to my computer and start writing, so it wont just lost away..haha..

All of these things I mentioned, maybe are possible in the future, when we achieved a super-advanced technology. I remember my lecturer, Mr. Lim Take Bane mentioned about his own theory of the famous Crystal Skulls.

He said that it’s could possibly a source of knowledge, maybe it’s a crystal based processors, harddisk, etc. which could store much more data than silicone (which we used today).

I agreed with his idea of this crystal-based technology, I even had my own theory if we relate back to ancient technology, which allows them to create such well, designed and arranged structures like the pyramids and great temples.

Isn’t it possible if ancient people are really more advanced than us, that they could use other materials or mediums to transmit energy (like electricity, heat, etc.)?

If our civilization today is more electricity based which transmitted through conductors like steels and other metals, and wave based such as these wireless technology.

Maybe the ancient people had already found the next generation of technology!?

That’s why we never met any metal wiring, or any technology similar to ours today, on these ancient sites..

But sometimes, we do meet some unidentified figures or something in their pictures, glyph, or writings.

What is it? UFO? Extraterrestrials? Or maybe, these ancient technologies that they had to build their structures that we haven't understand yet.

We actually are about to leave the digital era, we’re about to enter the next era of technology, the fluid interface.

Let's just see, students at the MIT Media Lab have developed a wearable computing system that turns any surface into an interactive display screen.

The wearer can summon virtual gadgets and internet data at will, then dispel them like smoke when they’re done..

This is just like what I’ve been talking about my vision of ring-sized computer!

The future is near. Soon, we'll be living in the future..!

(Im)possible extend

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

For eons, humankind has always been obsessed with immortality.

Why are we so obsessed with it? Is it because we don’t want to leave mortal world? Or maybe because the fear of death? Or fear of what will happens after we die?

Actually, the answer is so simple, it’s because immortality is something that we could not achieve..

It is because of our natural behavior and fact that reality isn’t as beautiful as what we sees in pictures, movies, books, stories, dreams, etc.

We always wanting something, and we always wants what we can’t have. It’s just like dream, dream is not a dream anymore if it’s become true..

This is something that I believed..

We actually can find a way to immortality, but God wouldn’t allow us to.

Remember, God create men in His own image. We are actually the personification of God.

God create the earth and the heavens. And we create our homes and machines.

God create us, human, and we create robots.

Maybe it’s just this simple, we are actually a system made by God, a very intelligent one. Just like in computers, we create a program, an intelligent program.

We could think creatively, because God made us that way. Just like how computer nowadays can think with it’s own artificial intelligence from programs we wrote.

We could heal ourselves from wounds, we could replicate ourselves and many more. Just like how computer programs could fix themselves if there’s any error in the system, and they could even replicating themselves (like computer virus and other similar programs).

That means, we are actually like computer programs to the user, God.

And this is the point..

We actually develop such technology that would theoretically made us immortal, or even bring people back to live. Bring people back to live? Is it possible? Maybe, since we are actually a consciousness system ourselves, then these consciousnesses might be exist somewhere after they leaves our mortal body after we dies, only God knows and have the power to access and do things to these consciousnesses (or system).

I believed we are able to gain the technology, but then, only God who able to decide whether these consciousnesses are allowed to return into mortality (if we’re attempting to revive), or maybe preserves our body and soul into immortality (if we’re attempting to gain immortality.

But then, Let’s just back to the relationship between God as the user, and us as the programs.

Remember ugly Window Vista security program that always ask us when we’re executing another program? It would ask us, the user, to allow or not for the program to run?

Then it’s up to the user to let the program work or not!

It’s up to God, whether He allow us to revive a person, or maybe live forever. We may have the ability to build the technology to do it, but the user decides.

Of course God can also do these things even without us, and our technology that are much inferior to God. It’s just like how the user or programmer execute a program or wrote a new program for the computer.

There are the examples,

Remember the prophet Isa (in Islam or Yesus in Christian, since the Moslem actually believed that Yesus is not God or maybe son of God, but a prophet), granted a miracle by God to revive a dead person?

Also Shaitan or Satan, whose wish is granted by God to live until the end of the day?

Why God wouldn't allow us to revive people? or gain immortality?

Because it will bring us the ultimate sin, which was done by Satan himself..

'The Pride'..

We will be too arrogant to accept that there is a supreme being, called God that has created us. Since we are able to live forever and revive a dead person.. We would think that we, ourselves is the God..!

Remember Dajjal or the Antichrist, the false Messiah who will come before the end of the day..?

He, who actually is a human that granted to live until the end of the day and given the power by God to revive a dead person.

The power has made him arrogant, 'The Pride' has born within his heart, and he refuses to accept God as his supreme creator..

Let's just wrap it up.. No matter how hard we try, if it’s without any allowance from God, we could never made it..

Even if we are made by His own image, we are just His creation. A creation can never beat the creator!

Just like us and our creation, I don’t believe that we, one day might be ruled by robots, by machines, just like in many science fiction stories with apocalyptic future..

Well, even in those stories, we humankind, are who in the end won against the machines, against our creations. Which also means, we can never surpass God, our creator..

note: I’m touching a bit about religion here, but I didn’t wrote this with any offensive materials or means to other religion. Because actually I didn’t wrote any of these, it’s just different names or terms (called by different religion) for the same thing.

Viable Visions

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I like watching star wars, I like both the original and prequel trilogy..
And I really like the character Darth Vader.
How he transformed from the Anakin Skywalker, chosen one to the dark one, Darth Vader.
Given with the highest midi-chlorian counts, and many potential skills. Especially the vision of he future he had..

The fear he builds from his vision, provocations and conspiracy from Darth Sidius have turned him into the Dark Side.
His choice to follow what his heart says would result such a massive change in his role (but his fate doesn't change).
What an amazing story..!


Actually, I don't know if I'm just inspired by it..
Or maybe it's just really the way it is..

I sometimes saw vision of the future..

And, one by one, it did happened! Well not exactly how I saw them, but majority, yes!
Sometimes they came through dreams.. And sometimes..
Through imagination..
Like I'm the one who’s carving it, I told myself what would happened next and it become one concrete picture of what the future would looks like, or what would happened in the future..

Well, it’s not like the visions of Anakin Skywalker about his mother's and his wife’s death..
But these vision I had, also quite a bad moon rising..


Sometimes I wonder, do we all chained by fate?
Since I have had many series of coincidence, which I considered too packed, or it happened in such a weird mechanics.

If these visions I had are what to be happened, or maybe what we called ‘fate’. And we cannot changed them..
Then life is meaningless..


I had (or maybe, I carved) some terrible visions.
And I saw it's happened each day, each night, one after another.
Will it eventually end the way I saw them?

It's just like saying,
"Why do we build, knowing everything is destructible?"
"Why do we live, know everyone will die in the end?"
My visions mostly are all about those unpleasant future where I sometimes saw that I didn’t win anything.

Why should I worked, I studied, I lived, I woke and sleep everyday, I ate, I put myself as part of the society (which I hate)..
If in the end, I win nothing?

Fuck, why should I?
Isn't the world is give and take?
Then I'd pay any amount, just let me take something in return.

Does the singer, Morrissey, were right when he's saying "I decree today's life, is simply taking and not giving"?

Hell yeah, that old man got a point there!!!


Or maybe, it’s the power of the mind?
I recently believed that human, had a very special gift from God.
We could do everything just by thinking of it!
In simple way, It’s called motivation. Which drove us to work, so we can gain what we wanted.
But in a an advanced way, we could even bypass the ‘work’ process to get the result we wanted.
We could even manipulate life..!
But it would only happen if someone with such strong mind power is willing to manipulate the life itself.

And yes, maybe it’s because I’m carving it with my mind unconsciously and consciously.
That’s sounds crazy, but that’s the way it is!
I have such weird imaginations, and unfortunately..
All those unpleasant things I imagined about the future are coming to life, because of my own mind power.. Ironic..

Possible? Possibly.. (Fuck my head, and all it's contents and thoughts of unpleasant future!)

Back to Anakin Skywalker, he drowned to the dark side of the force to change the future. To change the fate that is going to happened in his vision..
And the question, can it be changed? Because actually, Anakin's own changes into Darth Vader is one of his vision he saw in his earlier life.
Which means, he changed nothing at all..

What about me? My visions are coming to the reality, each of them..

Count Dooku said to Anakin, "you have fear, you have anger, but you don't use it"

I do have both of them, accumulated each days in my head..

Then, should I turn into another Darth Vader?

And I refuse to sleep

Monday, January 12, 2009

A little sorry for everyone, actually I'd like to post a continuation of my previous post, because it's not ends there. There are still lot of things to wrote, and I haven't finished it..

And well actually I got little distractions, I experienced a thing called collective dreaming (that's my own). I ever experienced this when I was a little kid where I awoke in dreams as another person, not me, not myself.

I was an illegal immigrant who tried to get inside the ship, Titanic (why Titanic?? I don't know exactly, but I just know that it was Titanic). I hid inside a wooden crate and I lost sense of time when I was there until I heard that people's voices panicking and I understand that the ship's drowning..

I'm trying to find my mom who hid in another crate, and then I saw my mom (and my mom isn't my mother in the real world, she was a different person and she called me not with my name, it's someone else's name but somehow I reacted like it was really my name.

We were trapped inside the ship's storage with other immigrants and I don't recall how we survived. I just remember there are group of small boats with candles at both end of each ships.

We reached the shore and finally a small town, from the people and the shape of the houses it looks like I'm in the 19th century town..

Suddenly after these horrible things happened, there's a running festival in the town, I was one of the participants, as the race goes by, I can recall no more details about the dream..

And it's morning already..

Okay, here are some things that I'd like to explain.

Well I have this dream not because I have just watched Titanic (you know, I was very young back then and my parents wouldn't allow me to watch Titanic), so it doesn't have anything to do with excitements after watching some movies or something like that.

And the era, yes.. It looks like it was in the 19th century, I wore clothes like an English paperboy in the 19th century..

Well, what I'm trying to say that, I experience the same experience in dreaming, where I have continuous conciseness like I was somewhere else and experience those kinds of feelings. But for this one, I wasn't really another person, and I can still feel the dream's sensation even after I woke.

I know you might say it's a normal thing when we experience such different sensation and we can still felt it when we woken up. Well I know the 'normal thing' in dreaming! I have experienced that as well, I ever dreamt about fighting with my brother and I suddenly woke up, with the emotional sensation that's still in my head, I punched my brother who was sleeping beside me.. hahaha..

But these dreams that I was talking about, are different, it's not just some kinds of attached emotions from the dreams. It's like creating collective consciousness in your head..

And how does it feel?? It feels a little pleasant but also terrible.

Dreams have always been like that, it taunts you everyday. I'd like to refuse sleep, but my body won't allow me to..

Things called Pride and Happiness

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Most people that know me might have wondering, why am I desperately trying to behave, creating things, or maybe think radically.

Maybe everyone would say and think the same thing like what I just said, especially youngsters. It is obvious that being young made us wanting to be different, to be emerge, to be special.

I am still young and I do wanted to be different while dreaming about being last forever.

But why do we all wanted to be different? Well for this one, I believed that I have a significant different reason than other youngsters. Then what is it?

Let's first talk about happiness. What is happiness? my definition for happiness is a pleasant feeling of being in certain conditions.

For parents, their happiness are their children, when their children born, when they children achieve something that can make them proud, etc.

For lovers, happiness is when they're being with their loved ones, while sharing something with their loved ones.

For scientists and professors, when they discovered or invented something new from their long tiring research.

So many kinds of happiness..

For me, happiness is when I'm doing something that I really wanted to do. It's something that I can be proud for because I'm putting myself into it.

I don't mind all these restrictions or even skeptical faces that people gave me because of my actions.

I have a bad habit for doing difficult things while I can did it in an easier way. I can just take the easier way, but mostly I did a more difficult way.

Why? Maybe because I wanted to prove myself.. Or maybe the easier way didn't make me interested enough to took that way. Maybe in the next time when there are changes in my interests and considerations that made me more interested in doing things with that particular way (which also would have turned more difficult.. Yeah, yeah, it's the domino effect of chances and it's mechanism).

For example, why am I doing a design work that's definitely put me into a disadvantaged position?

That's because I wanted to do it!

Why bother, doing things that we don't wanted to?

Is it because most people are afraid to take risk? As for my people, Indonesian, we have a wise words that saying, "jangan mengharap hujan dilangit, air di tempayan di curahkan", literally means, "don't hope for the rain to come, and threw away the water in the jar".

That wise words means, don't threw away any chances available just because we are expecting the best to come.

Well yes, it teaches people to be realistic, to play safe. That's why most people are okay by only having (what they called) enough water in the jar, than tons of water out there which amounts are incomparable to the jar..

That's why most people only took chances available, not trying to get what they body and mind tells them to do and get what they really want!

As for me, I don't want to play safe, it's a real discomfort when I'm into something that I'm not interested into. I'd rather failing than success in something that I'm not.

I always trying to do what's my best interest is. I am a proud idealist.

I know that sometimes I have to become more realistic in certain conditions.

However, I did these realistic things on my own ideal way, that's when I clashed with a greater reality that's swallowed my gut and spirit of an ideal thing I dreamt.

Most of the times I tried to think and put myself in a condition where I can revise and reconsider all these actions I made. Lots of regrets, indeed.. But I don't mind, because I'm doing what's my best interests are.

It is true that best interests may change in time and by the influences of other people. These things also made me think, what my best interests actually are?

I always trying to do filtering on all those influences I gained from other people that might obstruct my views and my best interests.

Sometimes I said to myself, "is this really what I wanted...?"

These grey hairs in my head might be produced from those thoughts. I am a perfectionist, I'd like to do something in perfection.

I know that nobody could do things perfectly or lived in perfect ideals.

I do build fake personalities, because I thought that I can't achieve perfection.

Watch my words, it's personalities, not personality.. Yes, I do build multi-layered of personalities.

I believed that even the most honest me is still a lie..

Let's wrap it it up. It is obvious that the reason why I do things differently because I'm happy just by doing it. It is the happiness for me..

When I'm into something that are my best interests, I don't mind if people destroy me, because I believed, in the end, when I achieved the perfection in the future, I can be proud of it and I can brag about it to everyone.. Hurrayyy!!!

Orders, Da Vinci, and Myself

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I admired Da Vinci and his works, everybody does.. But honestly, beside my admiration to his works, I hate him as well.

Most people will ask, why? The reason is, envy, jealousy, yes it is..

We all know how great Da Vinci is, how he think far off to the future than the people from this era. But it's just unfair, all these inventions, ideas, and works he did, most of them are brilliants. And it all came from one man, Leonardo Da Vinci.

And people today always think Da Vinci as a gifted person. Maybe he is, but now, just listen..

I was working on an architectural assignment few months ago, I was tasked to design a teahouse on a hilltop in a place where most of the people, works on the tea plantations around.

Considering that most people there works on tea plantations, which the tea might have considered as treasure for them. Based on the idea of tea as treasure cued me into the idea of sinking-cantilevered teahouse on the edge of the hilltop.

I did planning based from the form of two rotated rectangles, not squares (the shape of Star of Bethlehem, like the plan idea for Petronas Twin Tower in Kuala Lumpur), and these rectangles are not actually fit into each other, I modified the geometric shape in order to solve the problem of limited space given while I'm trying to solve other problems as well.

Then I added the entrance of which inspired from the Apple Store in Madison Square, NY. The glass box structure and a staircase that leads people into the store, or my teahouse in this case.

The studio master approved this idea, but he insisted me on having symmetrical two squares planning like the Petronas Twin Tower than two rectangles planning that I did. Because the entry stairs I planned to made were spiral stairs, he said it would be much nicer if it's located in the middle of such symmetrical planning.

I believed that he is right, but he forgot the maximum space he gave for this particular building. I'm not that's stupid enough to do this kind of planning if he space weren't this limited and the terrains are fit enough for the idea he insisted me on.

Well that's not the problem.. The real problems came on the presentation day.

Okay, I wrote all the descriptions and titles not using architectural fonts, not even standard fonts, I created my own fonts that looks a bit like symbols and I inverted the title like the Da Vinci writings. I did this on purpose, because this tea house I designed came up from the idea of 'treasure'.

I remembered my studio master said that he wanted a unique presentation, not a formal one, or technical one. He even commented on other student who did the presentation board quite technically.

I was a kind of content, knowing that my presentation board is quite unique. BUT, the studio master didn't like it, he asked me on what purpose I did these writings, I told him the reasons but he didn't buy it and he even commented on the inverted title of which he cannot read. Okay, the title is my mistake then.. Lets continue first.

Then he said, it's okay for this time, but he won't see any of these fonts and writings.

There is a female part-time lecturer who also commented on my work. Okay, she did understand the idea of these writings.

She asked my why did the plan were based on these two rotated rectangles, not rotated squares (again!?).

I explained to her that it was derived from the idea of a treasure vault, the initial idea were two squares, but based on many considerations, I turned them into rectangles and..bla..bla.. (like I explained before..).

Well, she didn't buy it, simply because she didn't like the plan, not because my reason is unreasonable. I told her all considerations possible that turned the plan into these two rotated rectangles.

Then she gave such a nonsense answer. She said that I have to follow orders (not orders from a lecturer), she said that the plan should have been two rotated squares, and I cannot made it into rotated rectangles because square is the correct order, like our body made in certain order and scales, or math 1+1 is 2.

Then she said, "don't try to make something out of the orders just because you wanted to look different, like these inverted writings (Da Vinci). God has made Da Vinci's brain with such gifts that he could create his own orders".

Okay, and it's insulting me actually, does she simply means that I desperately trying to look different? And I will never be able to surpass Da Vinci? Is Da Vinci that special?? I believed, that I AM special, I can create my own orders, like Da Vinci did.

I did these inverted writings while fully knowing that Da Vinci did this kind of writings before, but I have my own reason and it has nothing to do with Da Vinci.

And orders that she said, body scale? maths? Yes, we cannot changed them, but this is just a geometric shape, we can freely changed the shape, it has nothing to do with these 'orders' she said. Even Le Corbusier, father of modern architecture ever designed an inverted roof, of which the lowest part is in the middle while roofs should have it's lowest part on their edges.

Humankind can never achieved technology like today if we never tried to create our own order!

In the end of the day, the marks for my design is C+, I asked the studio master why I only got C+?

He said, it's my writings. What the hell!? But he previously said that it was okay, but only for that particular project. And now he gave me C+ because of these writings and fonts I made? He didn't even comment anything about the building, whether the building quality is bad, I didn't follow some requirements, etc. What an unreasonable judgement!

I tried to protest, and I said "Frank Lloyd Wright (an architect) also ever did his own fonts on his presentation board"

And another word comes up of which a lecturer should never say, he said "you are not Frank Lloyd Wright". A lecturer said that to a student? Which means that if you are famous then you will be able to create things by your own. It's the same thing as Da Vinci issue that I was talking about.

Then I replied back, "so if I'm famous I can do anything sir? (even if the quality is poor, people would always said that it's great).

But he turned away from the topic by quickly talking to other lecturer nearby..

Disappointing it is, I hate the idea of 'you are famous, you are wealthy, and you can do anything'.

Let's return to Da Vinci. Maybe yes, he is gifted and his works are amazing. But why doesn't anyone ever think that these praises were made for his fame, not because that his works are really brilliant? He might have few brilliant works, where he gained his fame from, but then people would think that all of his works are brilliant. He is not all original, even he himself borrows the idea of Vitruvian Man from Vitruvius. And most people who know nothing just keep on praising him and his works.

See, the book (and film) The Da Vinci Code, why it's not The 'someone else's' Code?

Well that's how most people fascinated by fame.. Trying not to be a hypocrite, maybe even me, myself also fascinated by his fame as well..

notes: if it's possible, I would scanned my presentation board and upload it here. But it's not possible for the moment because of few problems and issues.. haha..