And I refuse to sleep

Monday, January 12, 2009

A little sorry for everyone, actually I'd like to post a continuation of my previous post, because it's not ends there. There are still lot of things to wrote, and I haven't finished it..

And well actually I got little distractions, I experienced a thing called collective dreaming (that's my own). I ever experienced this when I was a little kid where I awoke in dreams as another person, not me, not myself.

I was an illegal immigrant who tried to get inside the ship, Titanic (why Titanic?? I don't know exactly, but I just know that it was Titanic). I hid inside a wooden crate and I lost sense of time when I was there until I heard that people's voices panicking and I understand that the ship's drowning..

I'm trying to find my mom who hid in another crate, and then I saw my mom (and my mom isn't my mother in the real world, she was a different person and she called me not with my name, it's someone else's name but somehow I reacted like it was really my name.

We were trapped inside the ship's storage with other immigrants and I don't recall how we survived. I just remember there are group of small boats with candles at both end of each ships.

We reached the shore and finally a small town, from the people and the shape of the houses it looks like I'm in the 19th century town..

Suddenly after these horrible things happened, there's a running festival in the town, I was one of the participants, as the race goes by, I can recall no more details about the dream..

And it's morning already..

Okay, here are some things that I'd like to explain.

Well I have this dream not because I have just watched Titanic (you know, I was very young back then and my parents wouldn't allow me to watch Titanic), so it doesn't have anything to do with excitements after watching some movies or something like that.

And the era, yes.. It looks like it was in the 19th century, I wore clothes like an English paperboy in the 19th century..

Well, what I'm trying to say that, I experience the same experience in dreaming, where I have continuous conciseness like I was somewhere else and experience those kinds of feelings. But for this one, I wasn't really another person, and I can still feel the dream's sensation even after I woke.

I know you might say it's a normal thing when we experience such different sensation and we can still felt it when we woken up. Well I know the 'normal thing' in dreaming! I have experienced that as well, I ever dreamt about fighting with my brother and I suddenly woke up, with the emotional sensation that's still in my head, I punched my brother who was sleeping beside me.. hahaha..

But these dreams that I was talking about, are different, it's not just some kinds of attached emotions from the dreams. It's like creating collective consciousness in your head..

And how does it feel?? It feels a little pleasant but also terrible.

Dreams have always been like that, it taunts you everyday. I'd like to refuse sleep, but my body won't allow me to..